On Monday I woke up and thought 'this is the first day of the rest of my life'. Richard has moved into his own flat since the end of last month, and my last summer visitors have left. For the first time in my life I find myself living alone. I have a wonderful family, good friends and some absorbing hobbies - but I realise that there will be more times when there is just me in the house (except for the cat!). It feels very strange - a conflicting mess of emotions. I know that I will get accustomed to this new way of living, and I will always have my very happy memories of the time I spent with my lovely Les. In a sense this will both add to and alleviate any loneliness I may feel. Missing Les is the hardest of things but I will go on trying to lead a life that would make him proud of me.